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May 2009 
All these "strangers"
Posted on Aug 10th, 2008
by 
Nono
Nono
I've been often thinking that I have a bunch of "friends" on my friends list that I have to admit I don't actually know. We started somewhere around a mutual interest, they contacted me or I contacted them and after couple of hey-ho mails, nothing. And hey, that is not a "bad" thing, I mean, let's not put a value on it. They just are there, some of them - friends. Well...
So I was thinking what if, some day soon perhaps, I send a mail to my "unknown" friends and really start to pursue knowing them in depth, or at least more deeply, at least.
What kind of stories there are behind those pics, those nicnames, those profiles? Are they happy? Do they live at their fullest or are they waiting a bit (just like me, heh heh). Are they married or with someone? What troubles them? Do they have many bad habbits? How do they see themselves as? Bad, good, average, special...? What has been their most defining moment so far and why? Or perhaps they have had several such moments? What did they learn from it? Are they addicted to something in good or bad way? What are their dreams?
So, how do you do.
So I was thinking what if, some day soon perhaps, I send a mail to my "unknown" friends and really start to pursue knowing them in depth, or at least more deeply, at least.
What kind of stories there are behind those pics, those nicnames, those profiles? Are they happy? Do they live at their fullest or are they waiting a bit (just like me, heh heh). Are they married or with someone? What troubles them? Do they have many bad habbits? How do they see themselves as? Bad, good, average, special...? What has been their most defining moment so far and why? Or perhaps they have had several such moments? What did they learn from it? Are they addicted to something in good or bad way? What are their dreams?
So, how do you do.
Access: Public
Nono..!
I am glad you blogged this because this is the truly best way to get to know those friends on your list, through blogging! I have many friends and many are inactive, but I do not nix them as they sometimes come back and I am here waiting for them..I remember when we became friends, you were writing in a POD and I was there too…I do not like Pods really, so now just blog…if one does not blog, they kind of fade away…until they do!!!!
I could write a book to reveal myself, but most of my life is tied into my own blogs…I can answer a few questions though…what was my defining moment? I have had many but recently it was meeting 15 Gaians in Oregon for a retreat. It showed me my center, my purpose and it held me in love. I took away much and am still processing it all.
I live my fullest, always have. Risk taker, traveler, new adventures, relationships, places to live, jobs…I need to connect.I love living!
Bad habits? Carbs, chips and crackers. Taking on too much at one time, showing a vulnerable side.
I am addicted to learning, am working on a second masters degree. I love going to school, getting school supplies, writing research papers, teaching at the college level, writing blogs and hanging out here.
Dreams…intentional community on large acreage in WA or OR. People of like mind sharing lives, garden space and laughter, each with their own space for quiet and solitude…
And love.
Aley
Pirjo,
I understand what you are saying completley…. I am glad to know you… but I would always like to know you better. I will work n writing more to you… and my other friends here at gaia.
Rand
Great idea, Nono. I've wondered about some of the people on my friend's list as well but hadn't thought to do anything about it. Blowing kisses across the miles from my lips to your cheeks (not those cheeks!)
It is sad that I am only thinking about this (actually) and not doing the effort… lazyness I guess.
Aleys name often pops up among the “Most popular” at the community start page, so I truly see how active you are with your blogging. So you met Gaians in Oregon? Must've been a great gathering and I quess you met Ayla as well?
I had the opportunity to meet Randall when he visited Sweden (was it last year?) but was too busy with my school and stuff.
But my school is now almost done and I will get some time over at the evenings (I got a new job). I was just looking at the evening courses available in town and my eye stayed for the section of dancing. Wow, I have always wanted to learn to Step and/or dance Flamenco, or how about Argentinian Tango? My good friend don't want to do Step and not even do the Flamenco but Tango goes well so I guess it will be Tango for us. But I can always go alone to the Flamenco course. I think I will…
Hmm, Ayla you make me blush…
Hi, Nono… I'm not on your list, but I came here through a mutual friend. I like this blog a lot as it's something I've also thought of before. About 20% of my list is made up of people I don't really know. I think your idea is a great one…why not reach out and get to know them? Now that I've read this, it's made me think that it's time for me to do exactly what you're saying…. Thanks!
hi nono!!!! I made friends with you when you first joined … and was quite drawn to you…
I still am. and my dear friend Ayla … recently sent me an email w/ a fun question and answer from you. I'll respond to it.
I find that I connect with folks that visit my grapevine … who post blogs that I frequent … and who comment on my blogs. I have joined Diving Deeper … but haven't had the time to really invest there YET … (OK Ayla … I will - I promise!!!)
I'd love to get to know you better!!! Ayla speaks quite lovingly of you!!! and her word is GOLD with me!!!
No, we didn't get to meet Ayla in Oregon … we wanted her here … but alas she wasn't able to be with us!!! She rocks solid …
OK … so how do you make friends with folks here? Let me know … so I can become one of them!!! weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!
Pirjo,
I was in Sweden in October… I wish we could have met… but things do happen. I actually had to cut my trip short even then.. family stuff back in the states. I did have the privledge to see Gothenburg take the championship in football. I must say that everyone I met made me feel very accepted and appreciated. This included people from scandanavia, northern europe, and the mediterranian. I think the most important thing to to create dialogue… and then conversations will follow…. with far more deeper thoughts and perspectives understood.
Pirjo… I will always count you as a friend… and over time we will get to know eachother in depth.
Rand
Randall, I count you as my friend too, it would've been great to meet.
And my darling Ayla, yes Peri you are right, she is really a great person and I love her a lot. We have some similar experiences (what I know) back in time in our lives. I was a bit “lost” during my 20:es and did a whole lotta bad stuff (bad for me). Ayla is my 'sister'.
I am all too lazy on my own blog actually. I tend to dive straight into Diving Deeper Workshop and write my stuff there.
Maybe, if one want to really know another person one could send a little questionnaire of 10 important questions AND also answer those questions first (to show good will and honesty - boyz and gals Nono loooooves honesty, brutal even). What would you guys want to ask?
I think in terms like:
* Are you happy and why (not)?
* What are your family ties and expand the person description please?
* How does your common day look like?
* How does your perfect day look like? (yeah, hah hah)
* Name your highest dreams and why do you want this?
* What makes you cry, smile, angry?
* Name one of your defining moments in life and why does it define you? (this doesn't have to be happy things like marriage or giving birth [too obvious] )
And so on and so on…
There might be something in the answers to spin furtherer on, eh? More hair raising answers (I think), more interesting it can get. LOL (Caught with my hand in the cookie jar, I love drama)
C ya out there or here
I caught this while looking at New Posts … blush blush. Love you girls. Nano Nano!
hi nono,It interesting to read this because I decided to look at my friends list today because I have lost tract of so many people. I am not on as much I used to be and I have lost touch in a lot of ways. I have a few core people that I visit but It is hard to keep up with everyone. I have always liked you and enjoyed what you have to say and I realized before and also from reading your blog that to stay in touch you have to make an effort as you say to reach out to people. I have always liked the saying “to have a friend you have to be a friend”. You have inspired me to reach out and make more of an effort to visit and say something to friends I have made in the past
jenni
I have also always liked you - how else - you are such a good person. I don't want to use the word nice, cos nice doesn't really describe it. You are plain good, true and through, that is my conviction and experience.
xo
hi nono, that is a wonderful thing to say and it touches me very much. I am not always sure what good is and I certainly don't measure up in many ways but i try in my own way. I keep thinking back to this blog and how it really hard to stay close to people in this medium. We can only touch here and there. thank you for your kindness.