Some people are like conflict magnets. They seem to flame up in every occasion.

I have been, and perhaps still am in certain pov, afraid of these kind of situations. Most specially at work when I am in a leading position and somebody on my department starts to flame about something. Often about situations that I never wouldn't flame about (this tires me out at times).

It has been a struggle. I am of course forced to bring up questions that I know will start a conversation in harsh manner. This is because of the nature of the people.

Well, I have started to notice that if I just stand in my truth totally calm (on the outside) and methodically explain my pov it ease after a while. There is not much that can stand against calmness. This is something I've noticed with President Obama. The man is incredible in his calmness - it gives faith, right? People automatically tend to bend when someone is so calm and certain.

It has been a good lesson for me, good year of learning.

This is a posting I have also done on Diving Deeper

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Til the day I understood what real dreaming is I remember always wanting to be somewhere - anywhere but where I was. Today I know what real dreaming is and therefore I am here, exactly where I want to be, right now.

I close my eyes and take a deep inhale of this air mixture of smog, millions of people moving, bakeries sugar flower blending with hamburger joint greasy smell and occasional poisoned carbon dioxide gasping tree on the sideway. The mixture is hot, somewhat middle-aged, like me. Not that I'm hot by own means, not any longer. My temper is calm.

To inhale this place, to get its vibe, I close my eyes and breathe with my skin with my arms extended and fingers spread out. I have this invisible feeling, but certainly some accidental by passers throw an eye on the strange lady. Inside my own cocoon I feel safe to feel, to dream.

Dreaming myself, dreaming my life and everything in it, heartbeat for heartbeat. Instead of wondering who I am I just am who I dream that I am. I am.

Today, now, I will dream myself into these people's minds, inside their hopes and fears, their desires and demons. These millions of unique and at the same time so heart wrenchingly similar thoughts and hopes. Is there anything else than victims and villains walking by?

Career dreams by costume wearing persons. They have many plans how to show off, how to place themselves in better position. Better in their eyes I may add, smiling inwards. Bottom line is - make more money. And money is the issue for the major part of people, how to get more, how to spend more, how afford that thing and this item. How to collect things, drugs, affection.

Relationship problems and problems to get into a relationship. Find that illusive other completing half of yourself. Having sex. A lot of sexual thoughts fly around in people's minds. I can sense the ones that had some, right this morning. A young man, smiling secretly had it with another man, just one hour ago. He is happy and so is his friend as far as he knows. He is not thinking about money or his career as bartender.

A monk is passing by. He tries to collect his mind. He is scared. He ate a hotdog two blocks from here. Is he about to ruin his long flawless life because of relenting to a desire for meat, something he is not supposed to eat? He is imagining all that karma from the meat he just received inside his system, digesting and consuming it. He helped to kill a living being by purchasing that piece of meat. His gluttony with the hotdog just ten minutes ago makes his trouble filled stomach revolt and he end up in throwing up the messy rests of the hotdog by the sideway wall.

People jump aside and some of them curse "watch out man" or "idiot" perhaps. No-one there to ask if the monk needs help. No, they are only afraid if his vomit has stained on them and their more or less pensive outfits.

I open my eyes.

An older lady is looking at me and she seems to be at unease. Yes, I think I killed her in another life. I send the hottest love beam straight into her thru my eyes. That beam is collected from the dreamy dusts of the moon itself. Moon, that is present together with the sun today, pale, but strong. My moon, the reflector, the best sender without self being the source. Our fabulous moon.

And I see myself.

~ o ~

Nono

I just wonder...
Is there anything unique in me? Many things I do I do realize my mom has done. But this feeling is more universal to me; what is there that makes me unique? What makes me something that nobody never has been?

Nothing

And everything. Of course it is the combination of these pieces and still I am a part of the great web of life. My parents has not met the same people, been where I've been, but they have certainly met similar people and done similar things.

Similar

It's that word, similar. It is not the "same". So I just have to face the fact that everything makes me similar to my parents. And yet - noting.

Who am I?

I'm nobody and everybody.